<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>everything has changed by the_strangest_person</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171414">everything has changed</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_strangest_person/pseuds/the_strangest_person'>the_strangest_person</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Anne with an E (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Love Notes, Misunderstandings, Oblivious Anne Shirley, Renew Anne with an E, Season/Series 03, Take notice, Walking Home, a lot of cuteness and a sprinkle of drama, anne is clueless but gets there eventually, bash is still the biggest shipper, everyone knows they're courting except anne, literally gilbert is so in love, me wishing the take notice baord was included more, no winifred, she was fun but these two have enough drama on their own, smitten gilbert, we needed her to whack some sense into gilbert, yes mary is alive in this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 06:07:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,281</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25171414</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_strangest_person/pseuds/the_strangest_person</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After being told about the take notice board and its purpose, Gilbert can't believe that Anne feels the same way and starts to "take notice" of her in his own way. In the midst of walking home together, recieving thoughtful gifts and finding that queer feeling in her stomach growing hard to ignore - Anne starts to feel clueless in a world that has always been so familiar.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>210</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anne With An E</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. all I know is we said hello</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is a fic that has literally been planned since THE FIRST EPISODE. It is based around the start of season 3 but will be adapted a bit, so please check the tags above. I am so excited to start it and I have missed writing canon shirbert, but check out my other works if you are a new reader! - for those familiar faces...I love you and appreciate you all! I hope this makes you smile :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the eve of her sixteenth birthday.</p><p>The warmth of the sun was seeping through her stockings and the flowers had just started to bloom. They were on the cusp of spring, a season that just made everything a little more beautiful - a season of <em>change</em>. Anne skipped down the path, bowing at the wildflowers adorning the path as if creating her very own walkway. Her imagination spun the surrounding trees into dresses of every colour, fresh blossoms stitched into the lining of puff sleeves in the form of intricate embroidery. While others would simply see them dancing in the wind, she saw flouncing skirts crossing a ballroom, designs painted into the floor in every colour and pattern, delicate feet counting in steps of eight. As a young girl she may have longed to pick the nearby flowers so that she could tuck them into the rim of her straw hat, but after years of befriending the symphony of nature around her, she could never bear to stop the buds from growing to their full potential.</p><p>Avonlea wrapped itself around her heart and squeezed until she could never imagine calling another place home. It was all that she knew, from the tops of the oak trees, down to the blades of grass that would dampen her ankles with their morning dew. She knew the pattern of the ivy that climbed up the stone wall outside of the Andrews farm, how the vines curled around the bricks. She knew the roughness of the gate at the edge of Green Gables, how it gave her a splinter every time she pushed herself up to wave at the man delivering their post. She knew the number of spots on the ladybugs, the texture of the moss, the growth rate of the seedlings and the sharpness of thorns from the wild roses. It was a world that had become so familiar to her, somewhere she lived and breathed every single day.</p><p>But she never knew that all it would take to send it all tumbling down, would be something as simple as the forgotten <em>take notice board.</em></p><p>She didn't know that it would soon send her spinning round and round until her reality seemed distorted, the memorized fields of Avonlea dwindling down to uncharted territory. And after that spring morning, the world around her would already start to change, moving everything around like replaced furniture right before her very eyes.</p><p>And the worst part was that she wouldn't even <em>notice</em> it.</p><p>It was a morning that started off like any other, her hand sinking her milk deep into the snow that had already started to melt away. The girls were gathered around the outside of the schoolhouse, giggling and blushing like the fair maidens out of Anne's favourite pieces of literature. The board sat there, plain and simple. There was nothing extraordinary about it, it wasn't complete with a sense of flourish or an aura of excitement, but as everyone else shook with anticipation, Anne wondered if she was the only one that saw the terror within such an innocent idea.</p><p>
  <em>"This is so exciting!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Isn't that scandalous?"</em>
</p><p>Anne's lip curled downwards in distaste. Those were certainly not the words that she would associate with this forgotten board, something that had harmlessly sat outside of the schoolhouse walls since she arrived in Avonlea. The words that came to her mind were more closely related with : <em>unnecessary, ludicrous, incongruous -- humiliating</em>. She truly couldn't think of anything worse than her feelings being exploited in such a private way, there for everyone to read and analyse like a piece of gossip. Feelings were a delicate thing and she knew that they could easily be twisted and manipulated, her arrangements and intentions known by every soul in Avonlea. It may have seemed like a much more romantic notion back in Camelot or Verona, but Anne wanted to attend a ball with a mysterious stranger underneath the stars, not stake her claim on one of the few Avonlea school boys that sat on their desks and boasted about their so-called manly achievements. It was something that she never wanted to get involved with in the first place.</p><p>But Ruby's eyes were so desperate and Anne couldn't stop herself from offering to help.</p><p>So she just walked over, somewhat reluctantly, noticing his face buried in a medical textbook as it usually was, eyebrows furrowed with concentration as he skimmed over the words. Gilbert's head rose instantly, shooting up when he noticed that she was walking over to him with the intention of stopping for a quick word.</p><p>"Good morning", she offered casually.</p><p>He returned the gesture with a pleasantly surprised smile, "...Morning."</p><p>Her hands clasped around her books, the words shooting out of her mouth so that she could get them over with as soon as possible, "...I'm not sure if you're aware but the old take notice board is active again."</p><p>"Take notice?" Gilbert's head tilted slightly with curiosity, right hand holding onto his left wrist.</p><p>"Yes", she clarified quickly, "...<em>of someone...</em>as in you post on the board when you want to let someone know that you've taken notice", as she continued on, it was clear that he was somewhat interested, listening in closely with a strange expression on his face as if he was starting to understand what she was trying to say, "...It's a way to make a casual declaration...a quiet attention-"</p><p>"To...someone you like?" he offered in a brighter tone.</p><p>"Yes...", he waited for her to continue, "...not so pointed as to be alarming and not so vague as to not be understood."</p><p>He was starting to nod slowly, a knowing smile stretching across his lips, "...A post in advance of a <em>proper</em> advance?"</p><p>Anne felt relieved that he was understanding so easily, "...Exactly! Because...", she sucked in a quick breath, "...all of these little notices matter when you want to let someone know that you're thinking ahead."</p><p>It crept along her side throughout the casual conversation, certainly not registering in her mind like a switch that had been flicked half way through. But the more words that left her lips, the more she started to notice the eagerness in Gilbert's expression, the glint in his eyes that encouraged her to continue, an unknown tension between them. Anne had never found it easy to talk to Gilbert after their years of hostility and competition, and even after several months of their families growing closer, it wasn't often that the pair sat down and talked about their own lives or feelings. And the further they got through the conversation, it somehow felt like they were having one conversation but talking about something else entirely. All of a sudden, something that had seemed completely harmless was making her skin tingle with anticipation, fingers twitching around her school books as Gilbert subconsciously leaned closer to hear her words. He didn't look away from her eyes once and Anne stood there feeling like she was in way over her head.</p><p>...</p><p>It started with a pair of big blue eyes.</p><p>Gilbert was barely fifteen-years old with a heart that had felt loss like a quiet friend by its side through the years, eyes that had seen darkness like no other, darkness so <em>thick</em> and <em>black</em> that it turned into the only thing he knew. He rushed around the soon-to-be empty house like an eager housewife, hands twitching with readiness for their next task, legs restless while he cooked and cleaned, ploughed and fixed, sat down and stood back up - all before crawling into bed at night to catch up on schoolwork. There were nights where his heavy limbs strained to turn the pages of his books, pulled down and pinned to the sheets by a force much more sinister than gravity. And there were days that felt like strangers, where the simple act of taunting his classmates or pulling on the hair ribbons of young girls were the only things that could remind him that he was still a teenage boy.</p><p>Maybe it started with the curiosity of a teenage boy. Her chin was pointed, her voice firm and when she practically stomped away from him, there was a tug deep in his chest that urged him to chase after her.</p><p>Little did he know that it was a tug, an i<em>nstinct</em> - that would never go away.</p><p>It was the curiosity of watching her as she read poetry, watching those wide eyes expand like the mouth of a river, opening up to the world around them that she somehow made him believe could be wide and <em>beautiful</em>. It was the thrill of tossing pieces of chalk onto her desk, daring to see how far he could go before she sent him plummeting out of his teenage boy meddling and back onto the cold ground that he was used to walking on. It didn't take long at all, merely a few seconds before her pale hands reached for the slate and sent it swinging towards his face. But the force against his cheek didn't throw him onto a cracked dirt path or onto the stiff sheets of his lonely bed - <em>no,</em> instead he was left feeling like he was lying on a bed of soft flowers with a dopey smile on his face.</p><p>Maybe that's why he couldn't stop himself from looking at her. She made him feel something different ; not the vast emptiness that swallowed him whole as he watched his father run out of time and not the short-lived excitement of teasing the giggling school girls, but the sense that every time he looked at her, he could be somewhere different - somewhere bright and warm and something that felt close to <em>home.</em> She had once asked him to come home someday, eyes casual in a way that felt so cruel because a small part of him had been hoping that she might have asked him to <em>stay</em>. He was not sure what his answer would have been, but if she had just said the word - maybe it might have been enough for him to hesitate before stepping onto that steam ship.</p><p>And standing in front of her at eighteen-years old, he was hoping that she would put a stop to this back and forth, and <em>just say the word</em>.</p><p>"To...their future together?"</p><p>If Gilbert was being honest with himself, he had tried - he had really <em>tried</em> to imagine a future without her in it. He had pictured himself as a world renowned Doctor, curing illnesses and saving family members so that they wouldn't have to experience the same consuming loss that he had lived with for so long. He had drawn out an entire future complete with a quaint family home, a manageable farm for extra income ; or a more short-term future at a medical university to broaden his knowledge of diseases and infections, maybe even complete with some good-natured friends. But no matter how hard he tried to force the images to stick in his head, there was always something missing. He imagined himself returning home to a redhead and scolding her for reading by the firelight, listening to her ramble about which flowers she would plant in spring to add some colour after a bleak winter. He could see her in every image, even in his short-term future, writing long letters or maybe even visiting and joking alongside his friends that would adore her as much as he did.</p><p>She was there, pushing her way into his mind without even trying, waving her arms in front of his eyes as if to remind him that she was there. The thought made him laugh, for it was not as if he could ever ignore her chaotic presence.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>She breathed the words out and they fluttered around them like broken wings. It felt silly for him to even enquire about their future, for he knew that she resided within every corner of his mind and that he didn't ever want her to leave. But asking the question aloud had every part of his body humming with anticipation because he never imagined she would ever feel the same, that his idyllic future could somehow turn into a reality. He let himself wonder for a few moments if she dreamt of the same future on the loneliest nights.</p><p>"So...you're suggesting...", he ached to clarify, <em>"...I post?"</em></p><p>Anne wasn't saying anything and it was something that filled him with elation to know that she wasn't immediately protesting, but set him on edge as he curiously wondered how long she had felt this way. His feelings for her had always been subconscious, almost second-nature - just like <em>breathing</em>. But the more that he thought about those feelings and the expanse of them, the risks and consequences that they came with, it all unravelled. It felt like focusing on his breathing, struggling to find a rhythm, standing there panicking about something that he had done for as long as he could remember.</p><p>"Anne, I-"</p><p>
  <em>"Good morning, everyone."</em>
</p><p>Miss Stacey's voice filled the schoolhouse as she made her way to the front of the classroom and Anne was forced to hurry back to her desk. She felt out of sorts as she sat down, sending an apologetic glance to Ruby that was desperately waiting to hear how her efforts had been received. As she forced her eyes back to the front of the room, she ignored the feeling of Gilbert's curious eyes from across the room. His gaze was unsettling her in a way that it never had before. Perhaps she had become so used to avoiding his presence, that she didn't know he had been there all along - just a few paces away.</p><p>...</p><p>
  <em>"Anne!"</em>
</p><p>It was not often that one saw Diana Barry in a state of panic, and this was different from the believable performance that she had put on for Anne's birthday prank. It had come on suddenly for she had been smiling as they walked on the familiar path to school, as they pressed their milk jars into the last remnants of snow beside the pond. They had arrived earlier than usual and as she turned to enter the schoolhouse, Anne had not been expecting Diana to call her name with an element of shock and maybe <em>fear</em>.</p><p>Anne approached her gingerly, eyebrows twisted in concern, "Diana? What is it?"</p><p><em>"Anne...",</em> there was a new element of urgency in her voice, something quiet and chilling as she gently lead her friend over to the board that neither of them had even thought of over the course of the weekend, <em>"...you should come see this."</em></p><p>She pulled her aside, glancing around worriedly to make sure that nobody else was preparing to approach them from behind.</p><p>The note was pinned up to the take notice board, sitting there as clear as day. It was right in the middle of the board, clearly intended for her to see immediately but despite the boldness of its position, the writing scrawled across the paper was small and careful. She had to lean closer to read it and as soon as she did - a part of her longed to pinch her forearm. It certainly felt like a dream, a stream of consciousness that she had yet to wake up from, despite the fact that she could feel the morning sunshine through the thickness of her coat. Knowing that she wasn't dreaming made it all seem even scarier and Anne could understand the panic within Diana's voice as she lead them over to something that neither of them were prepared for. Anne stomach rolled uneasily at the sight of such a simple note.</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Gilbert Blythe would like to walk home with Anne Shirley-Cuthbert. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>It felt like an official statement, a proclamation instead of a simple request - all because of that <em>stupid </em>take notice board. Such a small sentence hung up on a board felt like a warning, like she had a lot more to lose. Anne picked it off gingerly and held it between her fingers, frowning at the indentation of the ink on the paper.</p><p>"I thought you asked him to write a take notice for Ruby..." Diana spoke up gently, hoping that she wouldn't anger her bosom friend that was holding onto the note for dear life.</p><p>Anne looked up sharply, "...I-I...that wasn't, this isn't- t-this isn't a <em>take notice!"</em></p><p>"But he put it up on the-"</p><p><em>"It's just a note!"</em> she continued on quickly, nodding to herself in the hopes that it would appear more convincing, "...I mean, that would be....ridiculous, it wasn't like he wrote a compliment or asked to court me. That would b-be...well, <em>ridiculous!</em> He is just requesting to walk home with me. I mean, he has in the past-"</p><p>Diana didn't seem to agree, "...Anne, don't you think that maybe-"</p><p>"I'm sure it's because they need someone to look after Delphine."</p><p>"But what if-"</p><p>"Or he just needs help with his essay writing again."</p><p>Diana looked at Anne warily.</p><p>"We have walked home together before!" she protested, "...<em>many times,</em> in fact! This is completely normal, it doesn't mean anything just because he put it up on the board. It will be something like that, I'm sure of it."</p><p>Her bosom friend didn't know what to say, "...I-If you're sure."</p><p>The other girls soon arrived, scanning the other few notices that had been placed there after Anne took her own down, sighing happily at how romantic some of the compliments were. They giggled and gossiped, discussing the different boys and their intentions, basking in the attention which made Anne extremely glad that she had not left her own after-school plans pinned up for everyone to decipher. On their way into the schoolhouse, she tucked the small piece of paper into the front of her pinafore for safe keeping.</p><p>Halfway through their first algebra lesson of the day, Anne looked across the room and was almost taken aback by how Gilbert was already looking over at her. It really wasn't something that should have surprised at her, particularly as she hadn't officially given him an answer face to face and so Anne swallowed down her anxious feelings and patted the front of her pinafore at his expectant expression. She nodded with a bright smile, turning back to the front, inwardly repeating to herself that it was something <em>normal</em>, that it was no big deal - it was just another day of them walking back to the Blythe-Lacroix residence together. She was determined to spend the rest of the day focusing on her schoolwork like she always did, putting up her hand to answer questions and quickly jotting the equations down on her slate. In fact, she swore to herself that she wouldn't pay another glance to the other side of the room, after all there was no reason to.</p><p>She kept her promise, not letting her eyes wander over and as a consequence - she didn't notice that Gilbert was practically <em>beaming</em> to himself for the rest of the lesson.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I just wanna know you better</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>anne and gilbert walk home together while she tries to convince herself that it is NORMAL.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was meaningless.</p><p>Some would go as far as saying pointless, unnecessary, common -- <em>normal</em>. In fact it was so normal, that Anne managed to swallow three bites of her strawberry tart at lunch, even though the crumbs were sticking to her throat on the way down. And when she wasn't alternating between timid bites, she watched him talk to Miss Stacey through the schoolhouse window, even letting herself wonder what could possibly be causing that frown line between his eyebrows because it was <em>normal</em>. She twisted his note between her fingers during the afternoon, staring straight ahead at the blackboard so it didn't seem like she was paying attention to him - because she<em> wasn't</em>. And when she briefly mentioned her afternoon plans to her classmates, using the sensible excuse of needing to borrow a textbook from his house, they didn't even bat an eyelid. It made a part of her feel dejected, to know that they didn't seem to think of it as a big deal. Not that it <em>was</em> a big deal, it certainly <em>wasn't,</em> but she had wanted <em>- maybe expected</em> - them to say something or even to ask more questions about the ordeal. Anne was hoping that an absurd reaction from them would make more sense of the queer feeling in her stomach.</p><p>His cheeks were two flushed rosy apples and his eyes were sparkling as he smiled sweetly at her. She blew a piece of hair out of her face in frustration, that queer feeling strengthening with every step she took towards him. As he held tightly onto his own book bag, she observed that he looked all-too happy for a simple walk home with her.</p><p>Gilbert cleared his throat, "Shall we - are you ready to go?"</p><p>She nodded and had only taken one step towards the exit of the schoolhouse when a gentle tug was felt on her coat sleeve. Gilbert pulled his hand back immediately once he saw her eyebrows raise, flashing her a nervous smile. He held an expectant expression and gestured down to the books that she was carrying - "...don't you want me to carry them for you?"</p><p>Anne frowned, "Why would you do that?"</p><p>The expression slipped from his face and he seemed apologetic, "I just thought...", a hand reached up to scratch at his nape, "...never mind."</p><p>She wondered what he was doing, <em>Gilbert Blythe</em> - Avonlea's gentleman, the fifteen-year old that was expected to learn how to take care of himself overnight, now an eighteen-year old that stood up straight and acted with precision and logic. It was uncommon for one to see him flustered or unsure of anything, but as Anne reached for the doorknob, she noticed his hands fumbling with the strap of his own bag. She had become accustomed to the sight of him floating around the schoolhouse with his head held high and a walk that was different - more mature perhaps - than all of the other boys that were preoccupied with becoming men. It was small moments like that which reminded her that he was once an overly-confident rival that tugged on her red braid. But maybe that only served as a further reminder of where they came from and where they now stood.</p><p>But with the knowledge that he was still off-limits in a way, Anne kept her head ducked down low as they excited the schoolhouse side by side. The excuses rolled through her mind, the lies practiced just in case they were stopped and interrogated by any offending classmates. Anne felt a sting in her heart at the thought of betrayal crossing Ruby's pretty face and the heat of shame flashing under her collar at the soon-to-be prying eyes and assumptions of not just her friends - but the entire town. It was almost enough for her to turn on her heel and call for the rescue of Miss Stacey, but she stopped short at the sound of giggles. They were all there, every single one of them - every face that she had been afraid to anger, all stood looking at the board. Anne kept moving with a puzzled look on her face, slightly put out without anyone to give excuses to. She hoped that Gilbert hadn't noticed her inward conflict.</p><p>"Is everything okay?"</p><p>But he always had a remarkable ability to notice things about her ; whether it was the icing sugar that she had once smeared across her cheek while baking with Mary, or the look on her face when something was troubling her.</p><p>She righted herself, stubbornly looking ahead - "Of course."</p><p>"It seems as though the snow is finally starting to melt away."</p><p>Her voice didn't even sound like her own, "Yes."</p><p>"It will certainly make it easier to walk to school every day."</p><p>Anne blinked. "Hmm."</p><p>Gilbert stifled a laugh, glancing her out of the corner of his eyes. It was certainly a laughable concept - that the first moment alone they were given, in a long time, her eyes were glazed over with distraction. She was stuck in a daydream and he could never resent her for it. Not this girl that expelled warmth with every breath, every smile, every step - even when she was going in the wrong direction - the type of warmth that invited others to huddle closer as if she were a flickering candle in a dark forgotten world.</p><p><em>"Anne"</em> his voice was not filled with something stern, but rather affection.</p><p>She shakes herself out it, "I'm sorry...I was just-"</p><p>"Thinking?" he offers.</p><p>She shrugs sheepishly and turns her attention towards him for the first time, trying her best to be polite, "How are Mary and Delphine?"</p><p>He frowns involuntarily, rubbing his eyes that are no-doubt stinging with lack of sleep, "<em>I was hoping you wouldn't ask...",</em> at her confused look, he groaned dramatically, "...She's teething and the crying is<em> unbearable</em>. Mary has been trying her best to soothe her, but nothing seems to be working and she just cries all night. I've been trying to complete extra research for my mentorship with Dr Ward but it's hard to study with all of the noise."</p><p>"I bet none of you are sleeping very well" Anne winced.</p><p>Gilbert let out a deep sigh, "I'm lucky if I get a few hours in every night."</p><p>"I'm sure she might have tried it already, but if Mary could wrap a towel that has been soaked in cold water around a wooden spoon, it won't hurt her gums but it should soothe her a bit more if she chews on something while her teeth are coming through. It used to help me a great deal when I was placed out with different families."</p><p>"I'll mention it", he nodded, "...thank you."</p><p>Anne smiled sympathetically, "I can imagine it is difficult to concentrate...I never would have been able to get anything done through that crying. It always sounds louder somehow, when they're teething."</p><p>"Did you take care of a lot of babies?"</p><p>She kicked a stone in the middle of the path, "...sometimes."</p><p>He had seen her deflect questions about her upbringing more times than he could count, skilfully avoiding and giving minimal detail, and so he respectfully changed the subject. "I'll just be looking forward to a good night's sleep after studying, and well...for all of us. It's been twice as hard on Mary and Bash."</p><p>"Is that why you were talking to Miss Stacey at lunch?" she blurted out.</p><p>A part of him backtracked, glancing at her curiously, <em>"You noticed that?"</em></p><p>The collar of her dress felt sticky and she kicked another pebble out of her way, "...I-I just saw you through the window. I worried that you were being granted with extra lessons without my knowledge."</p><p><em>"Ah",</em> he chuckled, "...we can't have another one of my essays getting higher marks than yours."</p><p><em>"That was one time!"</em> she glared, "...and I had a fever that week."</p><p>He stifled a laugh once more, "Well, let's hope that you don't get a fever the week of the exams, otherwise I might come out on top."</p><p>"You're trying to <em>jinx </em>me!" she gasped, shoving his arm.</p><p>Gilbert held his hands up in surrender, <em>"I'm not!",</em> at her playful glare he grinned, feeling the same adrenaline that spread through his veins whenever he bickered with her, "...Anne, come on...you know that you're going to pass with flying colours."</p><p>She bit her lip, "But I....", hesitating for a moment.</p><p>"You what?"</p><p>"Some would say that I have tough competition", she finished quietly.</p><p>He wondered how she could still doubt herself so easily, after pulling herself through the other side of adversity, taking the judgements of the town on the chin, holding her head higher with every insult and disapproving stare. He wanted to tell her his dreams of seeing their names at the top of the results sheet together - <em>side by side</em> - and maybe he could even convince her to hold his hand so that they could raise them high. <em>As equals. </em></p><p>A small leap was taken, "Who knows? Maybe we will tie for first place."</p><p>"Yeah", she breathed, <em>"...maybe."</em></p><p>They say that the universe is connected to everything, even to that singular moment where everything went quiet and still. It was verging on <em>calm</em>. Their footsteps fell into synchronisation without any effort and Anne could feel the wind blowing against the hem of her skirt, swaying it from side to side as they kept walking. Her arms wished to reach towards the sky, fingertips twitching to stretch up into the unknown connection that she longed for every single day. The simple act of staring up at the moving clouds made her feel so <em>small</em> but so <em>big</em> at the same time, like a tiny atom that the earth could swallow whole before she recalled that she was created out of matter just like the universe itself. And it filled with the hope that she too, could swallow the universe if she wanted to. She felt like she belonged right there in that moment, at one with the nature and the quiet sounds around her that most people would never even pick up on. It took a moment for her to remember that Gilbert was walking the same path, that he could swallow the universe whole just like her and she wondered if he belonged there in that same moment.</p><p>"How do you feel about it all?", he spoke up gently and for a moment she wondered if he had gained the ability to read her mind, sharing her own thoughts on the universe and everything that they were made from, "...you know, we will be leaving home after exams....leaving the schoolhouse behind for something bigger."</p><p>Anne dipped into the rushing river of her thoughts, "I'm undecided."</p><p>"Really?"</p><p>"Well...I suppose I'm excited for the unknown, to dive into something new and challenging instead of being stuck in the same cramped schoolhouse. But part of me will always miss what I have...what <em>we</em> have, <em>right now."</em></p><p>He looks straight at her, unafraid - "I guess I do have some fond memories in that cramped schoolhouse."</p><p>The images flashed through her mind so quickly that she might have missed them, had a part of her not been looking for them. There were bitter moments filled with her desperate need to fit in on the first day, being exiled outside with no company but her own, being laughed at for reading poetry in the way that it was always supposed to be recited. But there were moments of satisfaction : when she finally grasped long division, when she walked back to her seat with Diana and Ruby firmly by her side, confessing that they had missed her. They had <em>missed</em> her. But as Gilbert eyes stayed on her own, she noticed that he still had the same <em>stupid smile</em> as the very first day. And then there were memories that she could not make much sense of, for they were filled with so many feelings - <em>good, bad, thrilling, confusing </em>- memories of the pair of them competing for the top spot in class, debating back and forth, exchanging respectful nods at the end of every spelling bee.</p><p>They were memories that she couldn't make sense of back then, and they were still hazy in her mind now, like faded photographs from a different life. But she reminded herself that it was a smile that had become familiar - less triumphant than the one he sent her after Delphine came into the world with a good set of lungs, less teasing than the one that he flashed after she had first beat him at a spelling bee, softer than the many he had given her over the years. And this time she found herself smiling back just as softly.</p><p> </p><p>But when she broke the eye contact and focused back on her surroundings, she stopped abruptly and turned to face him. "<em>Wait</em> - <em>hold on</em>. We've gone past your farm."</p><p>He spoke slowly, <em>"So?"</em></p><p>Anne frowned, looking to see them heading in the direction of Green Gables, something that suddenly felt so unnatural - because in a way, <em>it was</em>. She stumbled over her words, "B-But I thought that you needed help with Delphine or....or an essay...or the homework?"</p><p>Gilbert seemed equally as confused, "I...I...", his reason now felt silly, "...I just wanted to walk you home because I like talking to you."</p><p>Her head started to spin.</p><p>The ground beneath her boots felt unsteady.</p><p>The grip on her school books grew weaker.</p><p>A moment passed and he was still looking at her with those knitted eyebrows, waiting patiently for her to say something or to continue walking. She tried to blink and refocus onto their surroundings and the path they had stopped on, but the clouds had rolled in and left her mind feeling hazy and grey. In a blinding moment, she almost saw his arm twitch to reach for her own, to jostle her, bring her back to the surface - <em>anything.</em> Before he could continue staring at her with such concern, she nodded dumbly and slowly dragged her boots along the dusty path to keep walking on.</p><p>She felt out of sorts, completely separated from the universe and whatever moment they were previously sharing. He had said it in such a<em> simple</em> way - like it was <em>a simple thing</em>. It was simple, <em>wasn't it? </em>But her speedy pulse didn't seem to agree and her pace turned hurried as if a part of her was aching to get home, to dive under her blankets and live within her thoughts until she returned to a world that felt vaguely familiar. She tried to tell herself that it was alright - that it was <em>normal</em>. It was harmless, not a big deal. She worked hard to convince herself that friendship could never be wrong, that you could never have enough friendship and that walking home with a friend was certainly part of a friendship. Anne had walked home with Diana countless times, it was no different. But as they came closer to approaching Green Gables, she wondered why his steps felt so loud in her ears, why she could feel the warmth of his body even though they weren't touching in any way. Her mind was racing and she couldn't slow it down, everything coming back to that <em>stupid</em> take notice board, how it made her feel like something as normal as a<em> friendship </em>was wrong.</p><p>Her voice was quiet, timid, "Did you check the take notice board after this morning?"</p><p>Gilbert's head snapped in her direction, clearly not expecting her to speak. He looked at her for a good moment, eyes searching the side of her face as she looked firmly ahead, trying to work out why she was bringing it up so suddenly.</p><p><em>"Um, no",</em> he coughed, putting his hands into his coat pockets, "It's not something that I often think about."</p><p>She swallowed. "Oh."</p><p>"Why?" he dared to ask, keeping his voice gentle.</p><p>"Well I...", she closed her eyes for a moment, hoping that it would clear her head, "...I heard that there was a notice put up for you...that you are the most sad a-and handsome boy in school. I just wanted...I assumed that you...well, I would never post something so-"</p><p>He huffed a small laugh, "You really thought I would believe that <em>you </em>posted that?"</p><p>There was pure disbelief in his voice, the knowledge that he would never have expected her to post anything like that - or to post anything at all, and it made her release a long breath that she had unknowingly been holding onto. When she heard the girls discussing the board at lunch, giggling over the notices that they had created for themselves and those that had been left by the boys in return, she felt so uneasy. She saw Ruby's sparkling eyes and that was when she blurted out her reasons for walking home with Gilbert, emphasising that it wouldn't be a common occurrence - but Ruby just whispered about how she hoped that he would reply to her compliment. But it was only when she remembered his friendly smile, that she started to panic that part of him would wonder if she had written something so out of character, something so -</p><p>
  <em>Preposterous. </em>
</p><p>Anne sent him a relieved smile. "I'm glad that we're on the same page about it all."</p><p>He smiled at her so softly, <em>"...me too."</em></p><p>It cleared the cloudy skies in her mind and for a single moment, the world felt familiar again and Anne wondered why she had been fretting so much while letting a <em>friend</em> escort her home. But then they reached the gate for Green Gables and he was still walking by her side, staring straight ahead without the intention of stopping. And when they finally approached the porch just outside her front door, he took the hat off that was too big for his head and started to bunch it up in his hands. Anne was waiting for him to make the first move and walk off , eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms over her chest, wondering if he was trying to challenge her to bid him goodbye first.</p><p>But he just smiled at her expectantly, <em>genuinely</em> and said - "I'll see you tomorrow then."</p><p><em>"Why?"</em> her voice rose with panic.</p><p>Gilbert's stupid smile grew, "At school?"</p><p><em>"Oh..right,"</em> she mumbled, still stuck in a daze that frustrated her to no end.</p><p>He was looking at her with a glint in his eye, hands relaxing slightly around his hat and she got the sense that he was seeing straight through her, reading her mind with ease. It set her on edge and she quickly diverted her thoughts to the chirping of the birds around them - just in case he really was flicking through her thoughts. Just as she hoped that he might finally take his leave, the front door opened and Marilla's arm reached for the broom beside the steps - her form coming into frame as she realized that Anne wasn't alone.</p><p>"Hello, Gilbert", she sent him a warm smile.</p><p>The hat was put back on his head and he tipped it politely, <em>"Good day", </em>Anne was hoping that she might finally be able to catch her breath but it seemed as if he was taking every measure to get on her last nerve. He had everything with him and yet he was standing there, looking at her. His gaze lingered on her for a few moments more, <em>"...see you."</em></p><p>A weight was lifted from her chest once he finally turned around, making his way back to the gate. It should have given her the opportunity to rip away from her spot, charging up to her room and diving underneath those covers to return to the world that she knew - just like what she had been daydreaming of. But there she was, watching him head away from her until Jerry politely opened the gate for him. It was then that he turned back, waving when he realized that she was still looking in his direction. Anne kept her hand planted firmly by her side, clenching it into a fist so that she wouldn't be tempted to wave back to him. Soon he was just a dark shape in the distance, the flash of red from his coat the only colour that she could see among the golden fields that were still speckled with the last of the winter snow. And even then, she couldn't find it within herself to move. Maybe she was trying to make sense of it all, or maybe her limbs refused to leave that spot - but the wind felt knocked out of her. It felt like walking into her bedroom, knowing that something had been moved around but not being able to put her finger on what exactly was missing.</p><p>"I thought his farm was closer to the schoolhouse," Marilla mentions casually. "Why did he walk you all the way here?"</p><p>Anne shook her head dumbly, mumbling -<em> "I'm not entirely sure."</em></p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>double update to start you guys off! please leave your thoughts down below, I love reading any comments it truly makes me want to update more and puts the biggest smile on my face &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. so dust off your highest hopes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>gilbert gives anne a special gift, and spends the rest of the day trying to think of excuses to spend more time with her</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter can alternatively be called : Gilbert hardcore PINING over Anne for 3,570 words.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> She was halfway through her toast.</p><p>The sun scalded her eyes at the first opportunity and the sound of the birds chirping only made her brain feel like it was knocking around in her skull. But it wasn't just nature that was getting on her bad side that morning, in fact, this time Anne was certain that her entire psyche was out of sorts. There was a face -- and not just any face in particular, it was a <em>familiar</em> face and it had been stuck in her mind from the second she fell asleep until the moment she woke up hoping for some peace. In reality, she felt anything <em>but </em>peaceful with those earnest eyes haunting her with every movement, smooth cheekbones and slightly cleft chin untainted by any freckles or scars. Just stuck swimming around her mind, yet somehow hazy enough to have been a fever dream. It made her tear the sheets away as if they were poisonous. Her hands fumbled with the hairbrush and even splashing cold water onto her face didn't seem to help. She almost missed breakfast entirely, forgetting to collect the fresh eggs and in her rush to get through the day, she only managed to greet half of the chickens before she hurriedly stumbled out of the chicken coop.</p><p>But as she finally sat down and took a bite out of her toast, dipping the end into some of her runny egg yolk, it seemed as if her stomach had finally decided to settle.</p><p>And that was when she heard a knock on the door.</p><p>"Well good morning, Gilbert...", Marilla drifted across to open the door and although her voice was distant, the way her ears perked up was unavoidable, "...what can we do for you this morning?"</p><p>Anne dropped her toast back onto the plate.</p><p>"Good morning!" his cheery voice filtered through from the porch and Anne tried to calm herself by taking quick gulps of milk, "...has Anne left for school yet?"</p><p>"She's just finishing up her breakfast, won't you come in?"</p><p>The glass of milk paused halfway to her lips.</p><p>Anne didn't let her eyes wander to the left, where she would surely be able to see him through the side window and she nonchalantly tried to place her glass back down on the table beside her half-empty plate. In the space of what felt like hours, Gilbert Blythe made his way into Green Gables and was soon standing right in front of her. That stupid hat (that he still hadn't grown into) was bunched between his hands as if he were wringing out a dishtowel and his curls had been blown across his forehead by the crisp spring air. It was a face that she had known for over three years, and yet the sight of it this morning unsettled her more than walking around the haunted woods with the various witches and ghouls disguised as mere shadows. There was nothing out of place about his appearance : he was wearing the same brown jacket that replaced his winter coat, the soles of his shoes still looked worn and he had the same expression as he looked at her. Anne had never been able to identify exactly what the expression could be labelled as, maybe somewhere between <em>wary</em> and <em>curious</em> - but she knew it was the same way he had always looked at her because her pulse sped up, just like it always did.</p><p>He started to frown in concern and at first she put it down to the slightly hostile aura she was giving off, but as she followed his eyes down - Anne noticed it too. It seemed as though in her hasty attempt to put her glass back beside her plate, a huge slurp of milk had made its way down the front of her dress. She closed her eyes in mortification, trying to wipe the stain away with her bare fingers until she miserably realized that it was only making matters worse. As she stood to try and rectify the problem, her elbow knocked a nearby knife onto the floor and Gilbert stifled a laugh while Marilla huffed at her clumsiness.</p><p><em>"Honestly, Anne!"</em> she sighed deeply.</p><p>She grumbled under her breath, "It was an accident..."</p><p>"Go upstairs and change your dress at once, I won't have you going to school with a stain down your front", she instructed, "...your green dress should be fine to wear."</p><p>It came out as more of a childish whine, "But Marilla I-"</p><p>"At once! I won't have you hanging around here making Gilbert wait for you. If you're quick, the pair of you can be on your way to school for your early study session."</p><p>The tips of her ears turned red. Anne was often messing up and it was not uncommon for her to cause trouble, but Gilbert was awkwardly looking at the floor, deliberately giving her some privacy and the reassurance that he was not judging her. But her cheeks were hot with embarrassment and his politeness just made her want to stomp her foot like a child. <em>She felt like a child</em>,  standing there with clenched fists and gritted teeth, safe from further mortification of tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. She had certainly been scolded like a child, instructed like an incompetent baby that couldn't think for herself, let alone make it through breakfast without spilling her milk. With one more smile from Gilbert that was verging on sympathetic, she was making a beeline for the stairs - stomping up the steps much louder than was strictly necessary.</p><p>After briefly changing out of her stained dress and re-tying the ribbons on her braids, she found herself pacing around the room. <em>Why was he even there? </em>He found it within himself to simply turn up unannounced without reason, having the nerve to ask after her and Marilla didn't even hesitate before letting him in their front door. Sure, they were <em>neighbours</em> and he had occasionally turned up to borrow some sugar for baking, or even for a pair of female arms to swaddle the baby if Mary was resting - but that was <em>different</em>. Anne gnawed on her bottom lip, wondering if he was going to follow her around like a lost puppy all day, all polite smiles and cold hands in jacket pockets. She decided right there and then, that if he did have the gall to turn up on her doorstep again - she would make use of that cracked slate that was waiting in the barn for Jerry's use.</p><p><em>"Anne!"</em> Marilla called out impatiently.</p><p>She whined inwardly, checking over her appearance again in the mirror, tucking loose strands of hair behind her ears. But after frowning at the thought of changing her appearance for something as ridiculous as a <em>boy</em> -- <em>especially Gilbert</em>, she ruffled her hair a little so that her braids did not look <em>overly</em> tidy.</p><p>He was waiting by the front door when she begrudgingly made her way down the stairs once more, placing the too-big hat over his curls while she grabbed her own jacket.</p><p><strong><em>It's just Gilbert!,</em></strong> she repeated, willing herself to calm down.</p><p>"As much as I do enjoy walking with you...", he admitted feebly once they were past the edge of her property, alone with the company of the fields, "...I'm afraid I did have an ulterior motive when turning up this morning."</p><p>She span around, stopping short in the path - <em>"What?!"</em></p><p>Gilbert held up his hands, "I had another reason why I wanted to walk with you to-"</p><p><em>"So you did have a reason!",</em> she accused, <em>"...I knew it!</em> I knew that you had a reason, you never just turn up unannounced and I could see right through your innocent-"</p><p> He cut in, feeling rather pathetic, "...I just...I have something for you."</p><p>
  <em>"Oh."</em>
</p><p>Anne blinked, pausing her thoughts that were running at hundreds of miles per hour, watching him shift uncomfortably in front of her. A part of her felt guilty -- or rather <em>stupid,</em> for jumping to conclusions and assuming that he had some kind of twisted plot to embarrass her in front of their classmates. But now that she stood there, his hands fidgeting with the clasp on his book bag, she realized how much she had been overreacting.  </p><p>He continued on, eyebrows knotted, "I didn't mean to confuse you with just turning up this morning, I wasn't really expecting to myself and I want you to know that I wouldn't hold you to any expectation or-"</p><p>"It's...", she shook her head dumbly, "...it's fine. I was just..."</p><p>Gilbert tried to reason, " I didn't mean to catch you off guard. I will make sure to ask properly, when I just want to walk you to school..."</p><p>If she had been paying close enough attention, she might have felt her eyes widen just a fraction while dissecting the words, feeling the blanket of them wrap around her at Gilbert's innocent yet entirely troublesome desire to spend more time with her. But her gaze was following his movements, strong farming hands bringing out an unfamiliar book from where he had kept it tucked away for safe keeping. And just as she stopped to consider what he meant by such a statement, he was already offering the gift to her.</p><p>Their fingers brushed as she gingerly took it from his hands, but as her eyes fell onto the cover of the book - her face lit up instantly. He knew it belonged to her the moment that he laid eyes on it. The idea circled in his mind all night, swooping and diving, buzzing like a hummingbird that wouldn't settle. When Mary was pregnant with Delphine, Bash would frequently bring home hand-picked flowers for her to put in chipped vases, and she would kiss all over his cheeks with a grateful smile. But Anne was the type to plant seeds of her own, sprinkling nutrients and watching them grow taller with every day that passed. Gilbert knew that she would sooner create a flower crown than wear a tiara, would rather stare at the reflection of water than own flashy diamonds. And the moment he pulled the book out of his mother's forgotten belongings, he could picture it in her hands. It was beige and covered in a thin layer of dust, completed with illustrations of pretty flowers in different colours, curling around the border that surrounded the title. <strong><em>The Language of Flowers.</em></strong> It suddenly seemed like an endearment that had previously left Anne's lips and as he took his time to flick through the pages at the different floral pictures and meanings - he knew it was <em>hers. </em></p><p><em>"Oh</em>. <em>Oh,</em> <em>Gilbert-"</em></p><p>It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. As she ran her hand down a page, the glossy paper crinkled and she felt the need to hold her breath at the glorious blooms illustrated all over the page, complete with their own private meanings and origin stories. But as she looked closer, she noticed that the spine was worn, some edges folded as place-holders for whoever was reading. Whoever it belonged to had added their own personal notes, pointing out the blossoms they held dearest to their heart, jotting down moments and friends that they associated with the flowers. She tenderly turned the pages, smiling down at every detail that confirmed that such a special book was so <em>well-loved</em>. It had its own tale, its own life and it once belonged to someone that knew its story.</p><p>Anne shook her head, looking up at his hopeful eyes, conflicted - "Gilbert, I...it's too much. I-I can't accept it."</p><p>His face fell. "You...don't like it?"</p><p>"No- I<em>...I love it</em>. It's<em> beautiful. </em>It's filled with all of the things that I love the most. But I-I could never accept such a gift, whoever it belongs to clearly loved it for many years and I could never bear to take something away from-"</p><p>Gilbert cleared his throat, trying to smoothen out his voice - "It belonged to Mary!", the lie was blurted out before he could think of any other excuse, "...she was throwing some old books away and thought that you might like it. I just...thought of you, when I saw it."</p><p>"Me?"</p><p>"Yeah...", he smiled fondly, "...you know, with your love for nature and flowers. It seemed like something that should belong to the so-called Bride of Adventure."</p><p>She looked uncertain, "Are you sure?"</p><p>There was a part of Gilbert that hadn't been sure, maybe when he first pulled it from the dusty wooden box, unwrapping the material it had been wrapped in for protection from the outside world. He had spent the evening going through her possessions, wondering if she would be looking down with a smile at the man he was trying to become, whether he was mirroring the portrait of his father that hung on the mantelpiece. He held most of the jewellery and photos close to his heart, breathing in the musty smell and wondering if they once held the scent of her perfume. And maybe it was the thought of his red-head wonder that flashed through his mind when he first picked it up, and the thought of her taking care of such a precious legacy, something that meant something to him -- similar to the feeling in his chest when he saw her rocking his baby niece. Or maybe it was how despite how little he knew about her, he could never be anything other than <em>certain</em> that his mother would have loved Anne, just like his father did, just like he always had -- <em>completely helplessly.</em>  </p><p>He nodded firmly, <em>"It's yours."</em></p><p>Anne held it close to her chest for a few moments, biting her lower lip as she searched his eyes before hugging it tightly. She let out a small squeal, still in awe at something so thrilling, something so unique, something so...<em>her.</em> "Thank you, Gilbert. I will take special care of it, I promise it's in good hands."</p><p>"So...may I walk with you to school?" he gestured for them to continue on the same path, sending her a cheeky smile.</p><p>Anne laughed, "I suppose since we are already on our way."</p><p>...</p><p>They were halfway through a lesson on the extended History of Canada, and Gilbert <em>really </em>wanted to pay attention. It was a topic that he had struggled on for many years, missing out on a large section while he stayed home with his father and Mr Phillips had a strict method of never repeating the textbook chapters that they had already worked through. And after a few years of grasping a deeper understanding of the topic, he even found it interesting. It had turned into one of his favourite lessons and Miss Stacey was waving her arms around enthusiastically while pointing to different countries on the globe and Gilbert <em>really</em>, <em>really</em> wanted to pay attention.</p><p>His evenings had been ruined by Delly's screeching while she chewed through the cool wooden spoon that Anne had recommended, and it hardly left any time for studying before he collapsed in his bed. It was becoming a bad habit to fall asleep still in his day shirt and suspenders, and sometimes he didn't even make it past the parlour sofa before the world faded away. The nights had blurred into one over the past few weeks and his sleeping hours were getting interrupted more frequently, and so it was important that he stayed alert during class and made use of his nimble brain. The clock was ticking and it was nearing the end of the afternoon, and Gilbert was really, really <em>trying</em> to pay attention.  </p><p>But there she sat, leaning on her own desk that was positioned right by the window -- watching a bumblebee crawl up the glass.</p><p>Anne was typically just as focused as he was, hand always shooting up to answer any questions before him so that she could keep battling for the top spot. She was so focused that she never noticed him watching her from across the desks, sneaking quick glances while he wrote down his answers on the slate. He had always thought that he did a pretty good job of being discreet, his stares undetected and fond smiles unnoticed by the other classmates and the person they were always directed at, and he believed that right up until the moment Miss Stacey pulled him behind after class. She gently reminded him of the importance of focusing on his own work, but flashed her eyes over to Anne's retreating figure that had been leaving to walk home with Diana and he knew that he had been caught out. He bashfully apologized and since that dreaded day several months ago, had been trying his best to avoid looking at her side of the room.</p><p>Nonetheless, he had been sidetracked all day, thinking back to their walk home together - <em>did she always smile so softly at him?</em> It was becoming slightly pathetic, how many excuses he was trying to come up with so that he could escort her home and so it naturally didn't take long for him to lose focus. And now <em>Anne </em>was distracted by a <em>bumblebee</em> and <em>Gilbert</em> was distracted by <em>Anne </em>being distracted by the <em>bumblebee</em>, stuck in a vicious cycle that involved a meaningless insect.</p><p>But <em>Anne</em> -- Anne was looking at the bumblebee like it was anything <em>but</em> meaningless. Her eyes were lit up with wonder and slight concern as she watched it clumsily climb up the window pane, and the afternoon sunlight was catching fire to her hair and Gilbert could almost hear his heart <em>sigh. </em>He wondered if there was a flaw in the criminal justice system, or at least some kind of fault in the universe that was allowing him to exist beside her. This <em>wonder </em>that sang along with the birds on the way to school, who traced her fingers along the roots of trees and looked at buzzing bumblebees as if they were filled with a kind of unknown magic. He wanted to learn more about Canadian History, <em>he really did</em> - but how could he when she made him want to befriend a bumblebee? She made him want to scream at the edge of a cliff, jump headfirst into the ocean without thought, live freely and be <em>more</em> than he was now. She made him want to <em>feel </em>-- and <em>God,</em> after so many years of feeling so little, his heart was ready to lurch itself into her carefree hands.</p><p>He could feel it in every step that he took beside her, in every soft smile she sent him that had his knees knocking together, in every heartbeat. And all it said with each pounding rhythm was : <strong><em>I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm yours.</em></strong></p><p>Once Miss Stacey dismissed them, Gilbert practically fell over his own feet as he struggled to catch up with her.</p><p>"Anne!"</p><p>She turned around, raising a single eyebrow but her gaze was less hostile than it was when he turned up that morning. "Gilbert?"</p><p><em>"Delly",</em> he blurted out.</p><p>Her frown returned, but it was merely caused by confusion.</p><p>"I...Delly", he tried to correct, "...I was wondering if you could come round and help me babysit Delly while she is teething."</p><p>She bit her lip, "Today?"</p><p>He felt like kicking himself, "...I know it's late notice and seems rushed, but I forgot to ask you this morning on the way to school...it would only be for a few hours."</p><p>"Marilla wouldn't want me to be late for helping with chores-"</p><p>Gilbert cut in, semi-aware that he was starting to ramble, "I could talk to Marilla, apologize for springing it on you. It's just that I really want to keep giving Bash and Mary breaks from taking care of her, and Mary really wanted you to help give me tips and stay with me just in case I make any mistakes. I...sort of promised her."</p><p>As a young boy, Gilbert Blythe had always been taught that lying was a terrible thing. It was frowned upon in church and while he was growing up, his father gently scolded him for lying or withholding the truth, even when his son had the kindest intentions at heart. But he supposed that he could stomach it just this time, <em>for Anne.</em> Or, more specifically - the twinkle of pride in her eyes. In truth, it had taken more than ten minutes for him to summon the courage that morning to ask Mary if Anne could help him babysit Delly, and he had argued with his most convincing smile that she enjoyed it just as much as he did. After still seeing Mary's uncertainty, Gilbert's voice was rising in pitch and deep down he knew that it that point it was turning into borderline <em>begging.</em></p><p>But the embarrassed <em>'thank you'</em> that he let out after Mary finally agreed, was well worth it once Anne nodded enthusiastically and started ranting about the different ways they could try to soothe her teething pain and why Delphine was just <em>so </em>precious.</p><p>He tried his luck, picking up her straw hat and handing it to her with a bashful grin, "I suppose we might need to walk home together again."</p><p>She rolled her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips - <em>"I suppose."</em><br/><br/></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this is an idea I thought of for a while, and I haven't yet seen it in this context - but yes, I switched it so that THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS book actually used to belong to Gilbert's mother. I didn't want to focus on Anne's lineage storyline for this fanfic because it is so focused on their relationship progressing and new feelings blooming which they freak out over, and I wanted to show Gilbert taking notice in his own special way. I thought that changing it so that the book belonged to his mother and he gave it for Anne to take care of, was almost just as special as its true origin in the show and would also fit in nicely with this story - let me know your thoughts in the comments! (This is also significant to later parts of this fanfic so the book will be popping up again!!!)</p><p>this chapter was a bit of a pain at first, hence why it took longer than expected, but I rearranged the entire storyline and order and it feels so much more natural and exciting now, so I am so pumped to continue it - expect more real soon! I love reading your comments so if you leave some thoughts or tell me your favourite moment below - it would really make me smile &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. and all I feel in my stomach is butterflies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>anne and gilbert challenge each other, and as the winning prize - gilbert gets to visit one of her special places.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so this was meant to come out yesterday but I was too busy sobbing over the brilliance of Taylor Swift's new album, stream folklore guys it's a masterpiece. </p><p>enjoy more fluff!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gilbert cooed down at the small baby in his arms, her tiny fingers wrapped tightly around his thumb. He had such a way with her, holding her close and carefully watching her every move, and Delphine looked up at him with such <em>wonder </em>in her little brown eyes.</p><p>Anne couldn't help wondering if she had ever been held like that.</p><p>She was too young to remember such things. Her mind held no memory of the parents that brought her into the world, and her heart didn't know what their love felt like. The whimsical nature of her imagination provided a sense of escape, a world for her to dive deep into so that she wasn't washed away by the cruelness of reality ; but in moments of weakness she tried her hardest to picture something closer to home. It was a tall building with dark windows blanketed in vines of ivy, a stone-faced matron hovering over the basket in which she had once been kept. A simple trade -  just another infant deposited in the arms of strangers, a baby looking up at them with the same amount of trust.  </p><p>But there was a sting in her heart as she watched Gilbert care for his niece, and her eyes turned sad as she wondered if his own mother even had the chance to hold him.</p><p>It was that young and slightly-foolish aspiring doctor that took control on the night mayhem and fear struck the Blythe-LaCroix residence. She could remember the fluid drenching the sheets from Mary's waters breaking, the sheen of sweat on her forehead, how she gripped the headboard as waves of pain rolled through her. Matthew soon returned from his trip and quietly told them that the Avonlea doctor refused to help, and whilst Bash paced angrily at the prejudice that was becoming less frequent but didn't hurt any less, Gilbert nodded with determination and instructed them to fetch boiling water and clean towels. As the hours passed, they all grew exhausted and Gilbert was fidgeting and rushing around as if they were running out of time. There was a distinct flicker in his eyes - a flicker of sheer <em>panic.</em></p><p>It was something that Anne did not understand at first, but she later felt like kicking herself. While taking notice of the drooped silhouette of his shoulders as he passed over the newborn baby, or how he checked over the bundle for longer than she thought was necessary ; and as he stayed by her side for hours, stuck in his own world as he stared at the baby safely tucked in her mother's arms (even ignoring Bash's teasing about his delivery techniques) - she could sense his <em>relief.</em> It was the relief in knowing that it wasn't another baby that would grow up knowing that her mother's life was taken in a cruel exchange.</p><p>"I can't believe how fast she's growing...", Anne breathed absentmindedly, "...I can vividly remember when she was born, almost like it was yesterday."</p><p>Gilbert swiped a thumb across Delphine's rounded cheek, "I can remember it just as well...", he looked up to send her a wry smile, "...for obvious reasons, of course."</p><p>"I still can't believe it."</p><p> She blew out the words lightly, as if it was a summer breeze dancing on her tongue but it was a confession of sorts. Her cheeks pinked and she felt silly when his head snapped up once more, one eyebrow raised in disbelief. He chose his words carefully, taking a long time to let her embarrassment subside before he couldn't help asking - <em>"...really?"</em></p><p>"I have heard the story...maybe a hundred times, about you helping that woman in Trinidad, and whilst that was just as incredible, it was different this time. You weren't just delivering a stranger's baby, doing everything that you could to help her...you were delivering <em>Mary's </em>baby. That had consequences, their fate was almost in your hands and I know that we were all trying not to think the worst but...she might not be here if it wasn't for you."</p><p>Her eyes were so kind, but there had been a time where they were filled with nothing but hatred, something cold and unapproachable, but even back then, he found something within her so easy to talk to. He liked to think it was their souls reaching out, speaking about what they could not, a line drew between them that had always been there - albeit thin and easily stretched. And even then, he wanted to open himself up to her : to tell her his dreams and describe his nightmares and release his troubles.<em> "Can I tell you something?", </em>the words spilled out even easier at her eager nod, "...I was terrified that something would go wrong...and that it would be my fault."</p><p>"There are so many things that are out of our control...", she shook her head sadly, "...and no matter how much we pretend otherwise, the universe works in mysterious ways. Something like that...could never have been your fault."</p><p>He said nothing, focused on Delly as she started to fidget.</p><p>"I mean it...", she pressed, hoping that the guilt would soon dissipate, "...you<em> care</em>, Gilbert. <em>You've always cared</em>. A lot more than most. And things might often go wrong, there will be moments that you can't control...but caring deeply will always be the right thing...", he looked back at her and she could tell that she had his attention, that she was starting to get through to the part of him that was always filled with doubt, "...<em>I think you will be a wonderful doctor."</em></p><p>Gilbert's gaze was soft, grateful, "You really think that?"</p><p>She smiled, "Don't let that go to your head."</p><p>"I won't", he reassured her with a matching smile, "...but that...means a lot to me."</p><p>Anne's eyes fell onto Delphine and she shrugged her shoulders lightly, "I hope so, I can imagine it must be hard knowing that after all that, she still likes me more than you."</p><p>His mouth fell open. "No, she doesn't!"</p><p>"Yes, she does."</p><p>
  <em>"Anne!"</em>
</p><p><em>"Gilbert...",</em> she raised her eyebrows in challenge.</p><p>"I change her nappies."</p><p>"I did it once."</p><p>"And I do it all of the time!"</p><p>She tried to hide her smile behind her hand, "She still likes me more."</p><p>Gilbert laid the baby in question down in her cot, hoping that it would stop her squirming and he leaned closer to her. <em>"Is that a challenge?"</em></p><p>It felt like playing with fire. Or darting between trees in the middle of a storm. She could almost feel the burning embers catching onto her fingertips, could almost taste the danger that came with watching the lightning strike down from the sky only several feet away from her. Over the years, Anne had gotten herself into plenty of trouble with Gilbert Blythe - starting from the very first day. From unintentionally participating in forbidden walks, knocking him off the top spot in class, pushing his buttons in frequent arguments and daring to become his friend - she never backed down from a challenge. It was normal for her to test the rules of society and disobey instructions from Marilla, but there had always been something about him that beckoned her closer, that egged her on. His eyebrows raised, leaning all of his weight onto one elbow and that was all she needed.</p><p>She tapped her chin thoughtfully, "What do you have in mind?"</p><p>Just as he opened his mouth to suggest a variety of silly ideas that could prove who was Delly's favourite, a small whimper was followed by a loud cry and they both turned to the cot where she squirmed uncomfortably.</p><p>He smirked, "How about whoever gets her to stop crying the fastest?"</p><p>A moment's worth of hesitation was all that he needed, seeing how she paused and looked down at the precious baby begging for attention. From the top of her head she could not fathom why she would be crying after they had already fed and changed her, playing with her for hours until she seemed tired enough for a nap. "Well-"</p><p>Gilbert's eyes filled with mischief,<em> "Scared?"</em></p><p><em>"You wish",</em> she retorted, leaning closer in return so that their faces were only several inches apart, "...what do I get when I win?"</p><p>His lips twitched at her confidence, but there was no falter in his gaze as he gently murmured, <em>"...whatever that person wants."</em></p><p>The intensity in such an innocent phrase, that perhaps wasn't innocent at all - it was enough for her to consider backing out. She was certain it was the trick of light but for a short moment his eyes flickered down to her lips, into forbidden territory. Perhaps it was the broadness of such a request that scared her, and the entire scope of her imagination was suddenly focused on what Gilbert Blythe could possibly want from her.</p><p>But with one more cry from Delly, she reluctantly spoke in the firmest voice she could find, leaning back for space to breathe, <em>"Challenge accepted."</em></p><p>"What are you waiting for?" he teased.</p><p>Anne paused. "Well, what are the rules?"</p><p>"Rules?"</p><p>"There has to be something for us to stick to, some kind of system...what kind of methods are we allowed to try?"</p><p>Gilbert shrugged. "Anything."</p><p>"Anything? Really? But what if-"</p><p>He held up a hand to stop her and used his other hands to coax Delphine's tiny lips around his thumb. She immediately latched on and began sucking, fascinated by something that had the same function as her pacifier, and Gilbert turned to Anne to show her, <em>"...anything!</em> See, something just like that - you can try anything."</p><p>"Okay...so who goes first? Do we take turns?"</p><p>He was trying not to laugh, <em>"Anne."</em></p><p>She frowned, "What?"</p><p>It took her a moment to register, but once his eyes had glanced down to Delphine who was currently content sucking on his thumb in replace of what usually kept her calm - she realised what it was. Or rather, what was missing. He burst out laughing at her first, noticing that she had clued into the fact that the baby had stopped crying with his quick thinking.</p><p>Her mouth dropped open. <em>"You tricked me!"</em></p><p>Gilbert kept laughing, shrinking back when she whacked his arm - <em>"Hey!"</em></p><p><em>"You cheated!",</em> she cried, "...that was completely unfair, you were just meant to tell me the rules or show an example! It doesn't count!"</p><p>"It's not cheating", he defended smugly, crossing his arms over his chest, "...you should have been paying more attention. It's not my fault you are feeling particularly slow this afternoon, I know it's been a long day at school but-"</p><p>
  <em>"Gilbert Blythe, you take that back!"</em>
</p><p>"Or what?"</p><p>Anne had no answer, sitting there scowling at him.</p><p>"You're not really mad, are you?", he pouted as she stubbornly turned her head away, "...<em>come on, Anne.</em> It was only a silly game, we both know you would have won if we were trying properly. You've had a lot more experience taking care of babies than I have, you would have beaten me straight away."</p><p>She grumbled miserably, glancing at him, "Suck-up."</p><p>
  <em>"You haven't asked me what I want yet."</em>
</p><p>There was an element of teasing in his voice, something playful and silly as if he was merely trying to rile her up. But his eyes were serious - locked onto hers. They were dancing verbally, shooting back and forth at each other as if spitting bullets with every fierce word. But there was a tenderness in his gaze that she wouldn't let herself notice. As she sucked in a short breath, Gilbert wondered if it was possible for her to read his mind. A part of him hoped she could, so that it would save him repeating the words that he practiced alone at night, when all was dark and quiet in his room, hoping that someday they would seem less scary. The other part of him was terrified of everything being so laid out in the open, of her getting even a glimpse of the time he spent trying to count her freckles from across the room or the golden streaks of sunlight in her hair. What would he say? How would he say it? And if his worst fears came true and she had changed her mind, if he had been imagining everything that clued into the fact that she could someday feel the same  - <em>what then?</em> He wondered if the disappointment in the pit of his stomach would ever fade, or if it would stay stuck there, feeling heavier with each day.</p><p>She swallowed. "What do you want?"</p><p>He could have said it, he could have said it right there and then. After so many years of thinking them, he was sure the words would have slipped out easy enough. But at the unease in her eyes and the tension in her shoulders, his throat clammed up at the last second and he opted for a version of the truth, "...I want you to take me to one of your special places."</p><p>"A special place?" she echoed quietly.</p><p>Gilbert smiled gently, tilting his head, "I'm assuming you have plenty of places in mind."</p><p>It was then that the sweetest smile stretched across her face, warm and almost too-bright just like staring straight into the sun. He could see her eyes lighting up, the exact moment where she decided on the place she would share with him and he suddenly longed to read her mind. He decided that it would be worth the risk of her reading his thoughts if he was allowed the same privilege in return, to see the wheels turning in her brilliant mind, watching it hover like a buzzing fly until it settled. It suddenly dawned on him that after years of knowing her, of growing (together yet somehow separate), he didn't often see the youthful side of her : excitable, dramatic, innocent, filled with child-like wonder, determined. But in this moment, she looked like a young girl eating a chocolate caramel before supper and it made the walls around his heart tumble down to dust.</p><p>Just as he was about to ask her to share her thoughts, the door opened and Mary and Bash greeted them with friendly smiles. They immediately hovered over their daughter, glad to see that she had fallen asleep in the middle of their chatter.</p><p>Anne shot up like a rocket, gleaming like a firework, "May I take Gilbert on an adventure?"</p><p>Her fingers clasped snugly around his wrist and he jumped out of his skin at the feeling, suddenly realizing that she was almost holding his hand. <em>Almost</em>. He would have taken a moment to focus on the softness of her hand, or how it barely fit around his wrist because of its small size, and he might have even glanced down to check if it was covered in as many freckles as her pale cheeks. But she was tugging him across the kitchen and towards the door, and with the sound of her excited giggle, he could barely remember his own name.  </p><p><em>"R-Right now?"</em> Gilbert spluttered, yelping slightly as Mary whacked his arm with a piece of cloth, trying to usher him out of the door.</p><p>As they left for a world of their own, Anne could feel the curtains drawing to a close behind them. They didn't have anybody to answer to, no judgemental stares or curious questions as they left his farm and headed through the trees. And the thought of getting him alone - it was terrifying, yet oh so<em> thrilling</em>. It should have been a risk, maybe even borderline <em>dangerous</em>, but something about it felt so safe as they escaped for somewhere that could be just for the two of them. She couldn't ignore the way her heart skipped a beat at the thought of getting to see a side of him that others didn't look close enough to see : a side of him that was perceptive and silly and surprisingly romantic. Not romantic in relation to a person, but sometimes he would look at the leaves on a tree in a certain way, or slow his pace on their walk and she got the sense that he might have seen the world in the same way that she did.</p><p>He never failed to surprise her, catching her off guard at every opportunity, unravelling another layer of himself while he was still stuck on her outer shell. There was an <em>openness,</em> maybe she just hadn't noticed before or maybe it appeared more and more with every moment that they spent together -- but it made her feel guilty at how little he knew about her. <em>Truly</em> knew. Anne hoped that showing him one of her special places would be a good place to start, just another thing they could have in common. And after they shared something else <em>just for them</em> - maybe the idea of truly letting him know her wouldn't seem so scary.</p><p>...</p><p>Gilbert could hear the buzzing of bees and the scratching of grasshoppers on strands of grass  before they even reached the field. The sounds curled their way around his ears, intoxicating him with the essence of nature that she must have lived and breathed every single day. It was past an alcove of trees, just along the edge of the woods in a clearing tucked away like a little world bathed in its own sunlight. The field itself was overgrown, blanketed in a hazy hue that rolled like waves of smoke. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before. While exploring the roaring towns of Trinidad and staring at the vast expanse of the ocean, wondering if she was staring right back many miles away, he had learnt a lot about the world around him. He had discovered local delicacies, the injustice of society that had barely crept in the corners of his mind before, and he had floated around like a supernatural being stepping on entirely new ground. And on this bushy grass, surrounded by golden wheat and spring buds, Gilbert felt like he was taking his very first steps. While growing up in Avonlea and through visiting Alberta, his father had been keen to introduce him to the busy streets and abundance of shops - not something out of a fairy tale book. But <em>Anne</em>...he was certain that she truly belonged there amongst the beauty of nature.</p><p>He saw the first fly past her shoulder, almost as if he imagined it but soon there was an abundance of butterflies perched on the untouched weeds. Gilbert shrunk back slightly, about to take several steps back in surprise when Anne continued to tug lower on his wrist until her fingertips brushed his palm. After ensuring that he wouldn't run away, she carefully reached for a butterfly and it almost fell into her fingers, cupped in the palm of her hand as she watched it stumble around restlessly.</p><p><em>"Come here",</em> she whispered to him, keeping a close eye on the butterfly in her hand.</p><p>Gilbert hesitated, "I'm fine just watching-"</p><p>Anne sent him a look, "You wanted me to take you to a special place. You have to experience it fully otherwise it will have been pointless. Just come here slowly, you won't scare them off."</p><p>"I-I don't want to hurt them-"</p><p><em>"You won't..."</em> she reassured him with a soft smile, "...I promise, you just need to be gentle. Here, come over here and I'll help guide you."</p><p>It was instinctual as he flinched, slowly shuffling forward until he was right by Anne's side. There were other butterflies around them, fluttering their wings leisurely as if they were still undisturbed just as nature should have been. He tried to relax as her smile brightened, free hand guiding his own to rest underneath the other one that was currently cupping the butterfly. He breathed out shakily as it tumbled down into his own care, feeling the odd sensation of its wings brushing against his skin, more like a series of vibrations than anything else. He had expected the insect to eagerly fly away from his touch, often taught by textbooks and town folk to leave nature be, that most creatures were not fond of humans, but the butterfly was barely jostling anymore - staying still so that he could trace the patterns on its wings with his eyes. It was mostly black with golden splashes, flecks of orange mixed in and he couldn't help but smile at the thought of it weaved between Anne's fiery braids.</p><p>"There you go..." she whispered proudly, "...isn't it beautiful?"</p><p>"It's a little different than I thought it would be..." he confessed.</p><p>"Less scary?" she giggled gently.</p><p>Gilbert thought for a moment, "I just...I never thought we could live in harmony with nature. We've always been told to leave it alone, to keep it undisturbed but they don't seem to mind that we are here."</p><p>Anne felt a butterfly settling onto her shoulder, twisting to show him with a knowing smile, "No, I don't think they mind at all."</p><p>He let himself watch her for a while, this girl that he suspected was larger than life itself. With the pale skin of her cheeks mirroring the damp sand by the ocean, or the clouds rolling in on an autumn afternoon, and her hair matching the shades of the crunching leaves - he could understand why Anne seemed to belong alongside nature. She seemed to be made out of the universe herself, crafted from the God's with the leftovers of what they used to paint the world with colour. He could picture her sleeping among the flowers, breathing with the butterflies, lifting up into the sky like a bird, soaring and diving between trees at a pace that nobody could keep up with. Gilbert had always imagined himself a logical person. Someone that belonged with people in a city, or at least a town, near civilisation and buildings that had been built by hand with slabs of brick. But with the butterfly comfortably settled against the contours of his palm and the hazy sun dripping all around them, he could understand the thrill that she received by being friends with the natural world. He wondered if it would accept him with open arms, so that he could sleep among the flowers with her.</p><p>"Have you always been so...close with nature?" he asked with a fond smile.</p><p>Anne watched the butterfly stumble from one finger to the next, "When my mind is open, I can create a whole new world for myself...", if he hadn't been looking close enough, he might have missed the way her face changed, eyes losing some of their light, <em>"...it was always a way for me to escape."</em></p><p>Gilbert's own face fell and something heavy settled into the pit of his stomach. He could vividly remember the aspects of his own childhood and whilst it was sprinkled with loss and the emptiness of knowing that he had taken his own mother out of the world ; there were flashes of the children frolicking in the fields, running and laughing and playing games. And his father had always been there to read him bedside stories, chuckling patiently when young Gilbert plagued him with a string of logical questions that the story had left unanswered. There was always something missing, but his father tried to fill the gaps in whatever way he could. The thought of Anne experiencing anything less than that, it made him feel <em>sick.</em> It was something that he tried not to think about, but sometimes her eyes would glaze over sadly when Miss Stacey spoke of family trees and lineage, and sometimes he heard stories about what she had been exposed to before she came to Green Gables. It was a terrible thing, but there was no doubt in his mind that she had been through more than many children, that she had known adversity and suffering and loneliness more than anyone he had ever known. And picturing her sitting up in a dark tower somewhere, creating stories with a wide vocabulary and imagining herself in a world far away from her reality, it should have eased the sting. But if anything, it made him feel <em>worse.</em></p><p>"I-If..." his voice faltered, "...if you don't want to escape alone, I would always be happy to come here with you."</p><p>She tried to smile at him but it was a poor attempt that broke his heart, masking the surprise of someone offering to share the loneliness with her.  But barely a moment later, the butterflies around them fluttered back onto their branches, making them both jump and huff a laugh at the suddenness. He was grateful to see her smile again.</p><p>Anne watched them fly away and then turned back to Gilbert, but she tried not to let her eyes widen at how close they had gotten without her realizing. It must have been when she helped him get the butterfly onto his finger, but their sides were brushing and she could feel the thin material of his shirt against her forearm, could almost count the flecks of green in his eyes when his gaze met hers. He didn't seem to be inwardly panicking like she was, in fact he seemed to relax even further and smile softly as if he knew something she didn't, and it made her panic even more, wondering why he thought this was such a <em>normal</em> occurrence. But it <em>was</em> normal - <em>wasn't it? </em>It was completely <em>normal</em> for two friends and neighbours to be spending time together, to let him receive the prize he had won. It wasn't like anything was happening and it wasn't like anything was<em> going</em> to happen.</p><p>But the sensation in her stomach disagreed. In fact, it was outwardly protesting at her thoughts, becoming stronger with each second that she spent deluding herself that this was anything close to <em>normal</em>. The scariest part was that Anne had no idea how to navigate her way out of this labyrinth she had created for herself. She had expected it to feel like a warmth that sunk into her stomach, almost too-sweet and sticky like her first taste of chocolate caramel - but this was <em>disturbing.</em> She felt like she was a field filled with nature being disturbed, all of the butterflies dancing around her stomach in a frenzy and branches snapping under the careless footsteps of visitors. The butterfly had been perched comfortably on her finger, moving from one to the next as she guided it with a brush of her fingers, but the ones trapped inside of her gut seemed to spin around in dizzy circles, wings flapping insistently to send jolts of electricity up her ribcage, curling around her heart. She didn't like it. <em>She didn't like it at all.</em></p><p>Her voice sounded foreign, like a distant echo among the trees, "M-Marilla will be expecting me home for chores."</p><p>Gilbert blinked out of his daze, nodding along, "Of course, I- let's get you home."</p><p>"You don't have to walk me...", she rushed to say, "I'm perfectly fine getting home by myself, and you only need to follow the stream in the woods back to your-"</p><p>His hand fell onto her arm. "I like walking you home."</p><p>Anne was too distracted to reply, trying not to frown at the insistent fluttering of wings in her stomach that were hammering against her ribcage, vibrations filling every crevice.</p><p>It took him by surprise, how dejected he was when she reminded him that it was time for them to get home. The small clearing filled with butterflies had gotten itself into his soul, just like Trinidad and he was already eager to return, maybe even on their next walk home just before it became dark. The atmosphere had felt magical, whimsical and nerve-wracking, filling him with every single feeling that he would typically associate with Anne. He would like to consider himself brave, maybe not as brave as her, but <em>brave enough</em>. He prided himself on his quick-thinking and good memory that helped with his education, and he tried to stay as kind as he could be, opening doors for women and offering to help Bash with the difficult chores that he couldn't grasp as quickly. But this girl -- who barely reached his chin -- was the most intimidating person he had ever met. She was enough to put Billy Andrews in his place, brave enough to stand up to injustice, to fight for what was right, kind enough to open her arms wide to whoever needed her help and friendship.</p><p>And asking for her friendship, and so much <em>more</em> - he felt so silly. He suddenly didn't feel worthy enough and whenever she met his gaze, no matter how long for, his breath would always catch in his throat for the slightest second. Gilbert suspected that he would spend the rest of his life trying to catch up with her, exploring new places and discussing new ideas, trying with all of his might to make her happy and to never dim her light ; and maybe he would never get there, maybe he would never succeed -- but he would <em>try. </em></p><p>When they finally reached her porch, just before dusk, she turned back to him and almost missed the sound of his footsteps beside hers. She sent him a small smile to make up for the permanent frown that she had been sporting on the way home, urging her butterflies to settle down for the night - an olive branch. <em>"...see you tomorrow."</em></p><p><em>"See you",</em> he echoed quietly.</p><p>He stood there, begging his feet to move as she darted inside without even taking her muddy boots off. While he had been hoping for a few more seconds alone with her on the cusp of moonlight, he found solace in knowing that their next moment was only a  short night's sleep away. Just as he found the strength to walk away, he could hear Anne starting to apologize as Marilla scolded her loudly for traipsing mud all over her clean floors from their adventure.</p><p><strong><em>Ours,</em></strong> a dopey smile crossed his face, <strong><em>our adventure.</em></strong></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so just in case I described it really badly - they visit the butterfly field from the opening scene of season 2! I haven't really seen anyone write about it and it looked like such a beautiful place so I tried to do it justice, as a nice backdrop for all of the fluff and deep conversations (and it also fit perfectly with the song lyric for the chapter title so...)</p><p>next chapter should be up soon, comment your thoughts and any feedback you have &lt;3</p><p>love you guys!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>~this is based on the song "everything has changed" by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran, every chapter will be a different lyric from the song~</p><p>comments make my day so please leave your thoughts, or become my friend on my social media left below (I promise I'm nice!)</p><p>twitter - @anotherdorklol<br/>instagram - @anotherdorklol<br/>tumblr - @the-strangest-person</p><p>- jodie &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>